brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
