He asked to "fluff my boner.."
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Randomize
