She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
