I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
