dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
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