Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
