I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
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