Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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