as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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