Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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