Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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