whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
