I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
