5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
found the other keg... it's in the tree
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
