Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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