u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
