She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
