Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
