I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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