You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
