just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
