Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
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Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
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I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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