Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
