I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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