it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
