I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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