Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize