I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
