Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
