I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
