2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
