I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
