I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize