the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
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