Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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