No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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