These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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