I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
