I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
