guys are not supposed to queef...right?
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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