dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Randomize