no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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