Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
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