it's too hot outside to masturbate.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
