So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Randomize
