halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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