I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Welp...herpes.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
