IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
