Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
