Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
