I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i just google imaged poop.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize