every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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