dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
