Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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