Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
