I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
