Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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