Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Randomize
