Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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