its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I am mentally ready for anal.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
