sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
