i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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