well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
