I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
