im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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