i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
